Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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