A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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