she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
