what if every blade of grass was a penis?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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