Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
