id be glad to
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
