Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
