Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
