This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
