I feel like I'm in dance class right now
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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