why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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