No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
