dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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