let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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