So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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