sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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