I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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