I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
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He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
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We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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