Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
