I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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