So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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