Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
