Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.

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  (804): You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world. http://tfl.nu/i0as
  Replies (13) Good night (2474) Bad night (975)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless

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  (702): I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless http://tfl.nu/97sl
  Replies (18) Good night (918) Bad night (2288)
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  (716): View more from New York

  i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis

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  (716): i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis http://tfl.nu/uywx
  Replies (19) Good night (4583) Bad night (599)
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  (916): View more from California

  A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.

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  (916): A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever. http://tfl.nu/cexy
  Replies (65) Good night (1602) Bad night (5667)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck

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  (540): he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck http://tfl.nu/km3p
  Replies (22) Good night (3794) Bad night (1160)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.

  (1-312): View more from Illinois

  None of that is ok.

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  (312): Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there. (1-312): None of that is ok. http://tfl.nu/fi6r
  Replies (38) Good night (5635) Bad night (3867)
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  (418): View more from Quebec

  Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.

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  (418): Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class. http://tfl.nu/hm5u
  Replies (5) Good night (1276) Bad night (3764)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?

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  (647): Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen? http://tfl.nu/shhx
  Replies (25) Good night (2229) Bad night (2215)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever

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  (605): So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever http://tfl.nu/ken4
  Replies (16) Good night (3685) Bad night (1154)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway

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  (207): Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway http://tfl.nu/yca2
  Replies (2) Good night (2108) Bad night (838)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies

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  (636): If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies http://tfl.nu/2ary
  Replies (3) Good night (1047) Bad night (1511)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.

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  (+44): I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are. http://tfl.nu/uo40
  Replies (3) Good night (1557) Bad night (793)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Everything smells like blood and olive oil.

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  (416): Everything smells like blood and olive oil. http://tfl.nu/qieq
  Replies (9) Good night (443) Bad night (1134)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!

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  (631): I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving! http://tfl.nu/q0d4
  Replies (3) Good night (1168) Bad night (461)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.

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  (505): The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it. http://tfl.nu/p90f
  Replies (3) Good night (1144) Bad night (490)

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