didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.