Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.

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  (917): Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard. http://tfl.nu/xsvt
  Replies (23) Good night (2890) Bad night (850)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.

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  (404): Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn. http://tfl.nu/mlpv
  Replies (124) Good night (6051) Bad night (984)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.

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  (732): So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes. http://tfl.nu/cehz
  Replies (5) Good night (752) Bad night (4186)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  Wasn't he an English major?

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  (703): He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him. (1-703): Wasn't he an English major? http://tfl.nu/vbmk
  Replies (12) Good night (1227) Bad night (5046)
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  (949): View more from California

  Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?

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  (949): Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk? http://tfl.nu/zd5j
  Replies (5) Good night (3406) Bad night (964)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house

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  (814): love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house http://tfl.nu/d9cn
  Replies (14) Good night (3282) Bad night (1065)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.

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  (757): We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/rh0l
  Replies (5) Good night (2399) Bad night (759)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe

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  (570): All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe http://tfl.nu/7ueb
  Replies (4) Good night (802) Bad night (1317)
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  (408): View more from California

  In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals

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  (408): In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals http://tfl.nu/45rk
  Replies (8) Good night (754) Bad night (466)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween

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  (860): Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween http://tfl.nu/izhm
  Replies (4) Good night (2223) Bad night (512)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work

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  (787): I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work http://tfl.nu/djbl
  Replies (1) Good night (658) Bad night (352)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I will make you one.

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it

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  (417): I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal. (417): I will make you one. (417): Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it http://tfl.nu/hpb9
  Replies (5) Good night (993) Bad night (778)
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  (518): View more from New York

  No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?

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  (518): No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark? http://tfl.nu/5sw5
  Replies (2) Good night (389) Bad night (631)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Happy birthday, you long dick monster

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  (541): Happy birthday, you long dick monster http://tfl.nu/0cme
  Replies (9) Good night (1426) Bad night (381)
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  (323): View more from California

  I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game

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  (323): I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game http://tfl.nu/sbp7
  Replies (4) Good night (1202) Bad night (413)

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