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• (812): View more from Indiana

  her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.

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• (518): View more from New York

  What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.

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• 

  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.

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• (226): View more from Ontario

  I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.

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• (212): View more from New York

  Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"

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• (646): View more from New York

  I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Are you wearing clothes?

  (425): View more from Washington

  Fuck no, who do you think I am

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."

  (512): View more from Texas

  No more tequila EVER.

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