My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
