____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
