wake up i wanna do it froggy style
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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