We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
