Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
