these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
she smelled like a LAN party
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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