Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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