She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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