Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He kissed a someone with a penis
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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