u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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