I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize