If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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