she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
