Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
