Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
