why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
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