Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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