hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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