Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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