haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
