I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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