he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
