it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
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I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
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And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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