Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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