I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
ugly people sure do ruin things
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
