At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't deserve a penis
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
