the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
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