There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I need a beard to bite.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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