his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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