glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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