i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
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we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize