normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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