Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
