she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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